I don’t normally watch late night television, but after all the hoopla about NBC replacing Conan O’Brien as the Tonight Show host, I tuned in for his last couple of shows. What I viewed was an example of what Relational Life Therapists like myself refer to as "relational living." On Thursday’s show, there was great fun at the expense of NBC. But on Conan’s last night as the Tonight Show host, he became serious. He expressed gratitude for his twenty year relationship with NBC in spite of their current differences. Instead of becoming cynical in the face of rejection and poor treatment, he asked one thing of his fans... “please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.”

Follow Conan’s example for your relationship. His words are very true. Relationships are rarely what they seem to be in the beginning. Yet to devalue an entire relationship because of its flaws negates the good. Remember the love between you even during the difficult times. Work really hard to make your relationship work, and be kind. If both of you follow this advice, amazing things will indeed happen. Unfortunately, sometimes one partner is unkind and unwilling to do the work, and it becomes best for relationships to end. But even when they do, don’t become cynical; kindness will open the way for other amazing things to happen.