One of the books that has had the biggest impact on my life I never read. Back in the 1980s, Jane Seymour was a popular actress. She had sprung to fame as a 007 Bond girl and then cemented her romantic image with Christopher Reeve in the time-traveling romance, Somewhere in Time, and with Anthony Andrews in The Scarlet Pimpernel. She followed those up with many tv mini-series like East of Eden, and finally in the 1990s, she was Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. Sometime around 1986, Seymour wrote a book called Living Romantically. As I said, I never read it, but I remember seeing a display of it in a bookstore and I recall hearing her interviewed about it on the Gary Collins late-afternoon talk show. I remember very well what she said because I took it to heart and have tried to live by her advice ever since.

Gary Collins was saying that Seymour plays dramatic parts of high-flung adventure and romance -- exactly the kind of life for which we all yearn but which is usually very far afield from our mundane, routine existences. He asked her how in the world regular, working people can live those kinds of lives. Seymour explained that it is about living like a romantic hero or heroine, meaning that you give yourself over entirely to experiences and to the relationships in your life. You make the absolute most of every moment, live in the moment and enjoy and revel in it without regard for the concerns or cares of tomorrow. You don't withhold your fervent praise of people or hide your admiration, love, or support but lavish it on those in your life as many wish they had only after those they love are dead. She said that we should be very intentional with gifts and cards, tailoring everything to the specific preferences and likes of the individual-- in other words, no generic gifts or tepid greeting cards that would suit a number of people. "Monogram" everything you do for the specific person. She urged that people commemorate every possible moment of life, every birthday, every anniversary, every event that has any significance at all. She went on to explain that every day one can find reason to celebrate, that no day need be a "throw away" day but rather, through careful observation, creativity, and energy, you can find wonder and excitement in any thing or any place.

Seymour suggested that most people do not have adventures because they are too intent on their missions, whether it is going to the grocery store or driving to work, to open themselves up to whatever experiences and people they might meet along the way. She urged people to start conversations with similarly situated strangers when waiting in elevators, at bus stops, or in lines. Seymour then said something that registered with me because it has always been a hallmark of my attitude. She said something to the effect that "living romantically means creating memories -- for yourself and for those you love." Creative overtures when in the service of love is no vice.

Interviewer Gary Collins still thought that the kind of lifestyle Seymour described was mild in comparison to her on-screen bodice-ripping adventure roles, but she kindly corrected him. When you put yourself out there in the way I am describing, you are never, ever bored. It is too risky to be boring. Your affections, your emotions are always so out there it is impossible to take anything back. You can never say, 'Oh, that's no what I meant' or 'I didn't really care that much after all,' because your enthusiasm has spoken all too clearly. This means that you are always at the risk of being misunderstood, being taken advantage of, or treated shamefully. Yes, the valleys are going to be very, very low if you live like this, but the mountains will be breathtakingly high. There will be betrayal but there will be a richness and a depth to most of your relationships impossible to acquire any other way. This means living with everything always on the line.

If life seems boring to you or if you question the depth of some of the relationships you have with family and friends and lovers, I suggest you try Jane Seymour's advice and begin living romantically. I did, and I can attest that ever since, life has proven to be quite the adventure!