One of my most enduring interests over a long career in education has been the values kids learn in their classrooms and schools. These values may have their roots in the books or topics the kids are studying. Or, they may be picked up indirectly from what they observe from teachers and peers, or maybe even from characters in books, movies, and (gulp) computer games.

What values do we want our kids to learn? What values do our families teach? How do we ensure our kids become the adults we want them to become? “Be a role model” as a suggestion for just about everything from getting homework done on time to establishing healthy habits, from doing neat work to improving their spelling, from managing money to being punctual. And a whole lot more.

Here are some values we can reasonably agree would be helpful to our kids as they become adults. We can reflect on them and model them. It’s by no means a complete list, just a starting-off point. Add your own. The values we give our children are “gifts” that last a lifetime, don’t gather dust, or run out of battery power. Let’s make sure they’re the right ones.

1. Stick with it. There’s much to be said for hard work, determination, self-discipline, perseverance, and a sense of duty.
   
   
2. Show others can rely on you. Dependability, helpfulness, and a sense of responsibility can aid our kids not only in school but in post-secondary schooling, training and beyond.
   
   
3. Show a little respect. Respect of self, of others, of property, and of rules is an outgrowth of common courtesy. Our parents expected it. We should, too.
   
   
4. Think. Making good decisions requires critical thinking, skillful listening, and a respect for others’ points of view. Respecting another person’s point of view does not weaken you own views, by the way. It just shows you’re fair.
   
   
5. Don’t get your undies in a bundle. That’s what a beloved teacher once told me, and I’ve taken it to heart ever since. Patience and self-control go a long way in life.
   
   
6. “I cannot tell a lie.” Honesty is, indeed, the best policy. It shows personal integrity and esteem for truth.
   
   
7. Go for it. Reaching your full potential – or going beyond it – is a goal kids relate to. The best athletes, musicians, performers, and heroes do it all the time. Robert Browning said it best. “Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp. Or what’s a heaven for?”
   
   
8. Play fair. Being fair, standing up for your beliefs, and expecting others to do the same are based in a sense of justice. Respecting others’ beliefs, even if we don’t share them, is hard but a goal worth working toward. There’s plenty of evidence that not all adults have achieved it yet.
   
   
9. We’re all in this together. Being loyal to yourself, to your family and friends, to your family’s religious beliefs, and to your community shows a devotion to something larger than yourself, the “bigger picture.” You don’t give up your independence by being loyal – instead you recognize the wide and honest array of people’s beliefs.
   
   
10. Love learning. More than at any other time in our history, it’s important for kids to be lifelong learners. Help them develop their intellectual and skill growth. Show them how you’re learning new things all the time, too – for your job, for your hobby, for your personal pleasure. Give them the great good fortune of coming from a family that respects and expects learning.
    
    

Every family and community will have variations on these values, plus others. The important thing is that your kids grow up rooted in values that will enable them to find their own ways, to become strong adults, to prosper, and to pass on their values to their kids.

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