In 40 hours it will be a brand new year, most of us will wake up feeling as though it is just another holiday- a day off from school, a day off from work. Most of us will be planning to do things around the house and spending time with friends and family. This Friday will be the mark of a new decade and as our minds turn towards the future and what the year may hold for us- we need to be aware of the year past- reconciling the weeks and months behind us.

A friend of mine a few days ago told me that Christmas held no joy for her this year- there wasn’t enough money or happiness. She told me that there was no reason to celebrate. I texted her back instantly. “Most likely you will wake up on Christmas morning, more than likely your family and your friends will wake up on Christmas morning- that is reason enough to celebrate.”

We, as humans are strange creatures. We get caught up in the everyday dramas, we let fear consume us and we place the responsibility of our happiness upon another’s shoulders. We are afraid to build our own happiness, our own sanctuary that we let other well meaning-at the moment- humans try to build it up for us and when (for reasons sometimes unknown to us) it fails- we blame that other person.

As we look back onto this year reconciling our triumphs and our less than successful attempts at love, family, career, self we need to celebrate and acknowledge the little things along the way.

I am currently faced with the probability of someone I love letting go of me, not because they don’t love me, not because I am not lovable or not smart enough, or pretty enough. Not because I am emotional or neurotic at times, I am possibly being let go because of what they are going through. I can’t make anyone love me or make them happy or sad.

We are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or pain. However, we are responsible for ensuring our happiness and for creating environments around us that begets happiness, peace, love, and acceptance. We are responsible, each of us, as humans living together in community to create an environment where each of us can grow and be successful however we define success.

I am a mother, and every mother knows that we create a home that is safe, loving, and warm for our children. We do this so that our children can find their own happiness, fulfill their own potentials and grow into caring, self assured, confident, pro-active adults. We as friends, family members, lovers, and neighbors should want to create this within our own community.

As we reconcile this past year and file away the good memories, the heartaches, the losses, and disappointments- we need to forgive those who we feel failed us somehow and we need to forgive ourselves.

We need to look towards the new days ahead. Celebrate the hours, the weeks, the months of spending time with those you love. Celebrate every sunrise that you wake up to see and know that there are so many who won’t wake up to see the sun peek above the horizon. Take nothing for granted- the interaction between daily neighbors and friends, the text message from your best friend, child, or lover that says, “Have a great day- I love you.”

My favorite part of the day is when my very independent 16 year old daughter heads off to school in the wee hours of the morning and I hear, “Bye mom love you!” or when my 18 yr old in Delaware texts me “I love you mommy.” My heart swells at these small gestures. Cherish the ones in your life- let the ones you love KNOW you love them.

Love and forgive more. Love and forgive yourself more. None of us are perfect, we say and promise things that may not be kept in the days to come, we are fallible and most of us are well meaning- we must try to forgive ourselves and others more. Resentment and guilt fester inside of us and prevent good and healthy feelings from growing.

Grow, grow, grow- grow in your love, grow your own happiness, your own success. The more you love yourself, the happier you are within yourself, the more you will be able to create an environment that allows those in your life to grow and be happy. As this new year is only hours away- DREAM- never stop dreaming of the life you want to create, and if you are one of the lucky ones who gets to celebrate the sunrises to come- cherish each day.

Each day with those we love, and those we choose to surround ourselves with is a gift- everyday we wake up should feel like Christmas morning- filled with family, love, warmth, and gifts waiting to be given and waiting to be unwrapped. If we cherish each day, the days and weeks will follow. There will be loss, there will be tough times and sad times, but if we cherish each day we know that we have done our best and that those around us have felt love, warmth, acceptance, and peace.

Happy New Year- it is a beautiful day.