Question: This may not be your field, but I thought it couldn't hurt and that maybe some members may chime in and give me their opinion. I already think I know what I should do. I am not a member of the site, but I realized I could still submit it. I know, I will become a member, I just haven't done it! 

After you read this, you won't believe it. I was up for a promotion and I didn't get it. Believe me I was the most qualified by far for the position. Yes, I was sleeping with the boss and it ended about 2 months before the position opened up. We had a relationship for about 6 months. What I didn't know was that my boss was sleeping with someone else at the same time that did get the position. I really liked this guy too. What I am wondering is if I have any recourse legally to get this position? Now here is the rest of the story.... 

My boss, the person that I had a relationship with who gave the job to the other person that he was sleeping with is actually a guy. I was mortified! I got dumped by my boss for another guy, and then I didn't get the raise because of the same guy who got the position. Of course everyone in the office knows of the situation. It spread like wildfire. My boss’s boss has not done anything; he doesn't even work in the same office. But this is very uncomfortable for me and the whole office as well.  Do I have any recourse?"  

Answer: Dear Looking for Recourse,   

I have no idea if you have any legal recourse concerning the promotion you were passed over for. But I do have some advice on the situation and since you were willing to share your story I will assume you are open to my advice.  It rarely works outs when sex with the boss is involved.  Obviously you did not really know him as well as you thought you did, since he was also having a sexual relationship with a man while sleeping with you. First thing I suggest you do is make sure you have no STDs. That may sounds harsh, but who else was he sleeping with besides you two?  If you are as qualified as you say you are start looking for another job in your field. You need a new clean start. Most of all ask yourself why you felt you needed to sleep with the boss to get ahead.  You may have fooled yourself into thinking you were in a relationship but really he used you. If the boss of the department has not said anything, I suggest you leave it alone. You may end up with out a job. So forgive yourself for being foolish and make an exit plan that includes a list of things you will never do again. 

1) Refuse to be used sexually or in any other capacity, 

2) Keep personal life personal and professional life professional, 

3) Never assume that a supervisor will keep their word ( spoken or implied) as you have no idea what other deals they are making with other employees. 

4) And last forgive him and yourself. Revenge never brings the peace we seek, but forgiveness does. By forgive I mean in your heart, let it go and free yourself from the negative feelings that inspired you to ask if you have recourse. By forgiving, I do not mean forget, for when we forget we allow the same events to happen often time over and over again. I wish you well. This was an unfortunate event, however you know you are capable of better and I hope you are on the road to a stronger future.

- Denise