Relationships: I am a forty seven year old who has been married for the second time. We have been married for eight years now. I have a wonderful husband, things are a little stressful at times. We have a beautiful two year old and my son who is twelve from my first marriage. I have gone through menopause completely, my hormone levels are even way down. I have had them checked by my gyn and have been given medicine to help with hot flashes, emotional part. My problem is that I have no desire for my husband to touch me or be sexual in any way. It's been like this for the last four years. We used an IVF specialist to have our daughter, and it took five years. I feel like some of the medicines that I took caused all of the problems. Well I know it is really wearing on my marriage, and I want to be married to my husband. What else is out there to help with this, or is it all in my mind?

First of all let me say I am not a doctor. To answer your question about being all in your mind: maybe it is and maybe it is not. Eliminate any physical issues and work with your doctor to regulate your hormones. I recommend you consult your gynecologist and explain how this lack of desire impacts the quality of your life. The physical issues associated with menopause are all too common and therefore easily discussed. No one ever wants to talk about the fact that stress, children, menopause, careers and many other things contribute to a lack of energy and often a lack of sexual desire. In conjunction with a visit to your doctor, I also recommend that you be good to yourself: exercise, meditate, or treat yourself to a massage. When we feel good about ourselves we relax. By relaxing you open the door for intimacy. Sex begins in the brain, and a relaxed brain is more open to intimacy. I also recommend a date with your husband. Tell him how much you love him and how this lack of desire has nothing to do with how you feel about him. Take time to be together, no kids, just you two having a nice meal and maybe even a bottle of wine. This is not a cure, just a suggestion to help you remember that you are a woman who is loved and desired and at 47 years old deserves to enjoy her life.