Confiding in "Friends". When They Break Your Trust.

I recently mentioned my illness to a friend and co-worker and told her I was having surgery. I explicitly told her that the information was confidential and asked her not to share it. She promptly told a mutual
friend because she thought that mutual friend would want to know (I had already told her but she kept it confidential), and then mentioned it to her managers whom I would have never, ever told. I was pretty upset with her then but didn't say anything. When she emailed me to see how I was doing, I told her via email that what I had told her had been in
confidence and that I didn't appreciate her inappropriate sharing of
that information. Then, because she wanted an update, I simply told her I was making progress and being a very compliant patient. I didn't want to give her more information to gossip about. Now she's mad. I don't think I was wrong...do you?

Dear Trusting,

You asked if I think you were wrong, in the case of being upset that someone broke your confidence and you confronted her about that breach of confidence: NO. You have every right to let her know that you
meant what you said when you asked her to keep your confidence. Was an email the best way to confront her, maybe but maybe not? But the fact that you let your feelings be known is better than suffering in silence. However I think where you made a mistake when you expected a co-worker to respect your privacy. A co-worker does not equate into a friend. We all make this mistake because we spend so much time
at work and so much time with co-workers. Sometimes it takes getting our feelings hurt to remind us that our place of work is just that: a place we work. Friendship is rare and precious, sometimes it is forged in the workplace but to qualify as a true relationship it must transfer beyond the workplace. I wish you a full recovery, and I am sure your friends do too.

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